I just have sooooo many questions that I wish I could have answers for. I hate not understanding things, I hate not being able to reason things out. I hate looking at photos of us so young and so incredibly in love and wondering how the heck life could end up where it is now. I don't get it, I don't get anything and that in itself annoys the heck out of me and I get head aches from thinking about things all day long, trying to find a way to 'fix' it all, so that everything could be okay again :( And I know that I can't fix it, but it just doesn't stop my mind from trying to find a solution.
So keep praying really hard, for us girls but also for Leon as he does need guidance from up above for his future. Please pray REALLY hard.
Thanks so much for all the constant support!!!! You are ROCK!!
I have some more photos to share. My brother got married just over a month ago and we were so lucky to have them ask little Katie to be their ultra special flower girl for the day. She thought she was a princess, she took her roll so mega seriously, it was so ultra adorable to see. I think I just beamed with pride all day and night long!!
I think she made the prettiest flower girl EVER!!!
This was before the wedding, cause I couldn't manage taking photos and looking after a little baby, so decided to leave my camera behind and just enjoy the wedding ;)
And here is a photo of my other gorgeous girl. 12 weeks old here. She is such a good baby, man alive she makes my heart so warm and fuzzy. I just wish she wasn't growing as fast as she is, I would love for her to stay tiny for longer so i can enjoy every moment with what might be my last baby :( I love this girl to bits!!!!
Keep praying for us!!! And thanks so much for including us in your prayers, I can feel the power from up above giving me strength each day!And before I go, just sharing a scrappy link. Bella Blvd released sneak peaks of their CHA releases and boy they look awesome, I'm totally loving the look of the 'flirty' line, check them out here - http://bellablvd.typepad.com/bella_blvd/2009/07/monday-peek-giveaway-whahoo.html . There is also a chance to win some of the new goodies, so if you are a scrapper, pop over and check out the details for that ;)
29 comments:
oh katie was a gorgeous little flower girl jolene i just love her dress too!! lucky she is photogenic ;) bet your brothers photos turned out beautiful.
keeping you guys in my thoughts, and things will get better just hang in there love
kate xox aka mumofmoo
Jolene
Katie looked gorgeous - but then she always does ! I'm still waiting for a LO with a grumpy face from the little princess !
I can only imagine what your frustration is with your situation at the moment - men do not communicate their emotions very well, and often don't see the need to explain things. Don't dwell on the past, it will eat away at you - constantly trying to find warning signs for what has happened & beating yourself up because you did not do anything about it. You will also be going thru a complete process of grieving for your marriage, which will involve every kind of emotion from loneliness to anger. You have lost so much - your lover, partner & the father of your children - give yourself time to grieve, preferably away from your girls, this is all part of healing. Be strong, find something positive - however small - in every day, cherish your happy memories & look to a brighter future, it will take time, the journey will not always be easy, but know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many people.
Jammer dis so 'n laaannng preek, maar ek voel so hartseer saam met jou en ek hoop die bietjie perspektief kan help !
Thinking of you and your girls Jolene {{{Hugs}}}
Katie looks so super adorable as a flower girl. I can imagine you were oh so proud. Little lily is super cute :)))
I know I don't know you, but I've been following your blog for AGES!!! I'm so saddened to see what you're all going through, and my heart truly goes out to you and the girls - they are so sweet and beautiful and you should be proud of yourself!
Anyway...I know the company isn't the same as what you're craving, but if you want some adult time I don't think I live too far from you and would love to meet for coffee or something if you just want to get out for a bit. Don't feel you have to, just know the offer is there :D
Take care!
Dee
Katie was such a beautiful flower girl, and that dress, wow! But then again, she's always beautiful in every picture you take of her. Little Lily is turning out just as pretty as her big sister.
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time, but that's just the way it is I guess. It'll get better Jolene, no one can tell you when, but it will. Probably not the best words of advice, but can we honestly say anything that would make you feel better? I wish we could.
xxx Peggy
What a gorgeous flower girl, the dress Whowwww!! Great picture's!!
Lily she looks like Katie, so sweet and you should be proud of yourself!
I know it's a hard time for you, but it will be beter, I can't tell you when but it will.....
You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care!!!!!
Astrid.
katie makes such a beautiful flower girl.
i hope things start getting better for you soon.
I am sure at the moment it is all very overwhelming as if your whole world has fallen apart. But always look for the rainbow at the end of a storm. You are a strong women and don't stop being strong.
Can I suggest that you join some mother's groups to find some company so you aren't home with just your beautiful girls.
Katie makes one very stunning flower girl and those photos are amazing.
Hi Jolene,I don't think you'll get all the answers to your questions. But i know what you mean by wanting to know the answers. Adjusting to a new life with two small children is difficult, but you can make it. It's takes time, but every step you make,altough it may be small is a one in your new life.
Katie was a beautiful flower girl and Lily is so cute. My thoughts are with you girls!
Jolene just remember that a marriage break up is one of the major stresses you can have in life and so is having a baby. Unfortunately you have both in one hit so you are 'allowed' the bad days. There will be a time that you will be in a good place again. Stay strong and cuddle those beautiful little girls of yours. By the way Katie is the most gorgeous flower girl!Sonia x
What a stunning flower girl Katie was.Jolene i can feel your pain it is going to get better dont try and work it out as you never will.Just keep being positive and there will be better days to come.I really think that your strenght that you are showing at this very hard time is amazing.Even writing on your blog is a healing process for you.Just keep your chin up chick you will be okay.Take care big hugs Kerry xx
oh your girls are so lovely! I can only imagine the ache in your heart, hang in there and keep loving on those precious babies!
Oh i so hope life gets better for you Jo,you are such a lovely person and with those gorgeous girls you deserve nothing but the best..i put you in gods hands and his plan,i know it will be the right one!!take care and stay strongxxx
Hi Jolene,
love your blog, I have been a lurker because your layouts are a great inspiration when Im in need for some creativity, but Im more inspired by your openness on your blog about your marriage. I will keep you in my prayers. You have the most beautiful girls and Im glad you found the courage to keep smiling!
I first logged onto your blog on July 2nd - nice timing hey. My heart broke for your and your beautiful girls. I imagine as reality sets in it will be harder for a while, but aussie girls are tough and you and your sweet girls will come out the other side.
Your scrapping is just beautiful, I will definitely be checking in on a regular basis.
Lovely photo's
You're getting exactly what you're feeling about, not as much what you're thinking about.
That's why people tend to spiral if they stub their toe getting out of bed. Their whole day goes like that. They have no clue that a simple shifting of their emotions can change their entire day, and life.
IF you start out having a good day and you're in that particular happy feeling, as long as you don't allow something to change your mood, you're going to continue to attract, by the law of attraction, more situations and people that sustain that happy feeling. (Book - The Secret)
Have faith and positive thoughts, Luv
Willa
I really hope you will get back your positivity. This will be a very hard time for you. I give you all my support. Thinking of you and your girls. Have faith!
Hi Jolene, Katie looked absolutely gorgeous as a flowergirl.
Take heart and believe that things will slowly improve with time. I too was left by my husband of almost 20yrs, in Feb this year he just walked out without an explanation so I totally understand how you feel and all the answers that you are chasing. I was left on my own (my kids are grown and moved) with just 2 fur-babies for company. He came back after a month and told me why but most of it had been blown out of proportion. In saying that, after 5 months of wondering if things would ever get better I can finally see a pinprick of light. Hopefully things will start to improve for you soon. take care and cherish this time with your gorgeous girls.
Oh Jenny, I have wondered how you are...drop into SB xo.
Jolene, sweet thing, you MUST focus on yourself right now...you can't wonder how Leon is just now, you have to keep well for the little girls, they need for their Mumma to devote all her energy to herself & them. If you want a day in bed to hide & cry, then ring your own Mum, get her to have the girls & do it, let it go...don't say things about Lilly being your last baby, it may all seem doom & no-hopisj now, but God has wonderful things on store for you, especially when you're at rock bottom. xoxoxoxo LOve, Hugs & God will continue to bless you.
Hello Jolene, I occasionally pop by for some JP inspiration ;) and after reading about your last month or so I just wanted to express my condolences and to let you know that there is someone else out here praying for you too.
Hi Jolene, I pop in here from time to time and I was so sad to read what's been going on in your life. My husband has been away working for 10 days and I've missed him like crazy, so I can only imagine how you're feeling at the moment with such an uncertain future as far as your relationshiop is concerned. I'm not the praying kind, but I will certainly keep you in my thoughts and hope that things will work out in your life that will ultimately lead to happiness for yourself and your gorgeous girls!
I have always admired your work and its so sad to see what you are going through . It sounds so cliche but it really is ture - What doesnt kill us makes us stronger and you are lucky to have the love and cuddles from your gorgeous girls. Stay strong and be well
Jolene! I admire your strength and your openness to talk about how you are feeling! Deal with each day as it comes, trying to start off with a smile. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to wonder why. You may never be able to find out the answers, but you are putting yourself in a place where you can then move forward with your life with your oh so adorable girls! My prayers and thoughts are with you. Stay strong, and try to smile from inside out.
Wendy
just want to give you a big hug!
HUGS jOLENE, lots and lots. I couldn't post after you posted about what happened the first time, as it brought back memories for me, about a hard time about 7 years ago.
I just want you to know, that it will get better over time.So many emotions to go through though, before you start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.I remember one day driving with my young son in the car and feeling like drifting off the road into a power pole, but he was the only thing that kept me from doing.Hold onto those adorable, beautiful girls, you have.
Will be thinking of you, and know that you have many many friends out in the Cyber world.
Sending much love and strength to you.XXOO Melissa
hey I understand how you feel. Your family is gorgeous. Keep your head up and happy scrapping
Those photographs of Katie are just devine, she's an angel :) Looking forward to meeting little Lily again soon too, before she gets too much bigger. {{hugs}} and prayers from me. Let me know when you're up for some coffee and cheesecake xx
Jolene you and your girls are in my thoughts a lot. Trying to send you lots of warm hugs and best wishes. It is going to take some time but it will get better!!
Hugs xx
Hetty
Hi Jolene,
I've just started following your blog but have admired your work in magazines for a while now. You and your girls are just gorgeous! I just wanted you to know I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time and you are in my thoughts too.
(((hugs))) Maria
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